Tag: relationships

My Romantic Grandmothers

I know we are well past Valentine’s Day weekend, but I have carried my grandmother Rosa’s love story in my back pocket since I began collecting stories to tell. I consider that I’m either late for this year or early for the next, but some love stories never get old, and this may be the year Rosa’s finally gets on the page.

The truth is that when Valentine’s Day comes around, what I remember about Rosa, causes me to speculate about love and the hype associated with happily ever after. What is it about a connection between two people that goes beyond the “I do” and society’s expectations? What keeps some people together for decades while others give up after the first round of conflict? I’ve put down some thoughts, actually lots of thoughts, which I will share over the coming days.

The Hype

Each year, countless individuals put LOVE at the center of their vision boards or at the top of their list of New Year’s resolutions. No matter what age group or whether looking for a new or improved relationship, we find hearts filled with hopes and dreams of catching that elusive mythical butterfly of love.

In the same way that marketing and merchandizing stir up dreams of the proverbial romantic love, social media keeps pace with the trend. The newsfeeds are flooded with memes, poems, and words of wisdom involving love and relationships to address all expectations or interpretations of love.  

The Help

After decades of trial and error, I’ll share some reflections based solely on my personal observations or experience. 

I remember that before there was social media and its memes, I would take the personality quizzes in my teen magazines to find the characteristics to look for in my perfect match, my soulmate.  Then, I would turn to the back pages to find my horoscope to see if a tall, dark, and handsome stranger would cross my path that month.

Thankfully, along with the fantasy, there are genuinely informative and helpful articles.  Sometimes the headings tend to be sensationalized to intrigue the reader, but generally, one can find a helpful nugget or two. Some common themes that have crossed my desktop are: The Egomaniac Partner; How to Recognize a Toxic Person; What to do if your Love Language doesn’t Translate; Don’t be a Doormat; Self-love is the best love, and variations of these.  These are not actual titles but if you are interested in these topics, use your search engine to find information and expert opinion.

The Grandmother Stories –

This finally brings me to my grandmother’s story.  In 1893, Rosa was a young girl of fourteen when she married Carlos, who was four years older. He bought her a house on the edge of town, and together they had thirteen children, seven of which made it to adulthood as caring and loving individuals. My grandfather Carlos was a hardworking, honest man of his time. To his grandchildren,  he was loving, and we remember him as an old bulldog with a bark worse than his bite. There was no question, though, that he was the law and the justice of his little personal fiefdom. I’m told that in his youth, his personality and good looks gave him certain liberties with the women in town. By the social standards of her time, my grandmother had to learn to accept it. She didn’t like it, but she was a woman that stood by her man, faithful no matter what.  

I remember once, when her sister Lola was visiting for a few days, she teased my grandmother about this. Lola told us about a certain younger woman from down the street who, now in her seventies, still made sure she had bright red lipstick on when she walked by my grandparents’ house on her way to town. I was not accustomed to seeing my sweet grandmother with ruffled feathers, but that day, between gritted teeth, she said to her sister, “Oh hush! That old fool looks ridiculous wearing such vulgar lipstick at her age.” I had to laugh because I couldn’t believe that she apparently still had issues about an affair my grandfather had after all these years. What was that all about?  Was that Love? Was she still insecure about her marriage after almost seventy years?  Different times, different culture- maybe? 

Several years later, a couple months after my grandfather died, a few of us went over to check-in and visit with Rosa. Truthfully, I don’t remember all the conversations that day. We were all bustling around cooking, cleaning, and trying to keep her spirits up. Still, I remember that she broke my heart when she quietly interrupted to tell us, “I don’t think I will make it to Valentine’s Day this year. I have celebrated Valentine’s Day with Carlos since before I was fourteen.  I don’t think I can do it alone this year.”

Days later, I got a call that my grandmother was in ICU at the hospital where I worked. She was with a pulmonary embolism and not doing well. I went up to see her, kissed her forehead, and held her hand. Her eyes fluttered, and she was gone. It was Valentine’s Day. She was determined to spend it with Carlos for all eternity.  

My paternal grandmother, Euphemia, has a different story. Whenever I think of Rosa, I naturally think of her.  One day with a house full of people, she sought me out, and silently sat by my side while I watched my little girls feed and chase the chickens in her yard. After a bit, she whispered, “Does Eddie ever visit you?” Eddie, my husband, passed at a young age.  A muted anguish in her tone alarmed me.

Based on family stories, I understand that Eufemia’s was an arranged marriage. She was well into her 20s – almost a spinster by the social norms of her culture. Perhaps, some say she was firmly encouraged by her parents to marry her cousin’s cousin, my grandfather, Saturno. He was ten years her senior. They had seven children.

In response to her question, I told her that I vividly dreamed of him a couple of times during the first year.  She put her head down as her dark eyes glistened with tears and said, “Saturno, never visited me.  I guess he never really loved me.”  

 They had been married fifty years at the time of his death at seventy-two.  At the time of our conversation, she had survived him by about thirty years. Sadly, she waited for him to show his love – from beyond the grave. Was this Love? I can’t imagine what it would be like living all those years, wondering if your husband loved you. We never spoke of it again. She passed many years later at the age of one hundred and five. I always wonder if they met again in another life.

It is Better to Have Loved

I am a firm believer in the premise of the famous quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson, “’tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”  It took me years to find a balance after my life and dreams were turned upside down by my first husband’s death.  However, I have been fortunate to have experienced unconditional love and support from family and friends, some of whom have already passed.  I have been widowed, divorced, betrayed by close friends and lovers – and still, I believe.

What do I believe about love?  It is magical!  You can’t package it, and you really can’t fake it.  But it’s not the same for everyone. It’s that feeling of warm sunshine on your face, but it also warms your heart when you are with a loved one.  It feels like tickles and giggles and laughter till your sides ache. It’s feeling safe in someone’s arms, like when a mother cradles a baby. It’s a child feeding or bathing an elderly parent. It’s a partner shoveling the driveway so that you can get to work. It’s a friend bringing you chicken soup when you are under the weather. It’s a pooch or a kitty following you around until it can cuddle and comfort you when you’ve had a hard day. I can go on.  I think it’s wonderful, painful, risky, and scary but worth it.  Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments. 

Forms of Love

Elusive Butterfly of Love – Bob Lind 1966

Quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson (Brainyquote.com)

Photo- Love Year-Round Yoga Digest

The Curve Ball

Discover Prompts  Day 8: Curve

So “curve.”

The first thing that came to mind when I saw the prompt was “curveball.” As I continued reading and I smiled when I saw the rest of MW’s line. “Life has thrown a big one at a lot of us these days: a curve.”

I was excited when I saw that the Discover page was going to offer daily prompts in April. When I first started blogging a few years ago, I found the DailyPosts and WP Blogging U very helpful.  But alas, I fell off the blog wagon awhile back.  This year I don’t have the energy for NaNoWriMo and/or the A to Z challenge.  It has nothing to do with COVID 19.  Life happens, and my creativity is “Meh.”

Truth be told, I’ve struggled with these prompts this time around. The prompts and alternate ideas are creative and engaging, but I spend all day churning ideas in my head that don’t get to my page. 

For example, prompt # 2 Open, brought me to the Grand Canyon, but that trip came with ghosts of the past.  I saved the essay for another day.  Prompt # 6 Hands. brought me the question, “what is the sound of one hand, clapping?” It was one of those days that I started to do research to make sure the riddle was not about one hand slapping.  That post didn’t even make the page.  I was going to tie that prompt in with # 7:Below.  A suggestion on that day was, Think about the last time you were emotional — angry, or elated, or sad, or nervous. What lay below, feeding that emotion?  I was not ready to go there on day seven.

Here I am today, talking about The Curve, with a post I started in March. 

If you’ve read my posts before, you may know that I’ve been working part-time at a public library. I really like the place. We are one of the smallest branches in our county’s system of 10 sites, including three larger regional libraries.  Its hard work and we regularly deal with staff turnover, but we’ve also got a great team of volunteers that come in each day to help.  

I have enjoyed everything about the job.  In shelving books, I often find some treasured tome that I didn’t know existed.  I enjoy people, and actually, my favorite part is dealing with the patrons, especially the regulars.  What a great crowd.  Most are old-timers and have been coming to that little branch for over twenty years. The full-time senior staffers know just about every person by name.  They look forward to seeing them each winter when they come back.  Upon returning to town for the winter, many patrons consider their first stops, the library, and Publix – in that order! 

The staff often know, and most importantly, they genuinely care who is sick, who just got a promotion, took a trip, started a business, or wrote a book.  Some of the elderly and the lonely stop in to read the newspapers or use the public computers. They also come in to connect – that irreplaceable human contact that we all need.   Everyone gets a warm welcome and a free smile.  

Sometimes the place feels as if it were an episode of the sitcom “CHEERS.” The tv show is about a neighborhood bar in Boston.  We don’t serve drinks, but the atmosphere feels similar – friendly and accommodating.   

“Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.” (Intro theme from Cheers.)   

On Wednesday mornings, one can’t help but smile as the children’s laughter, and singing spills out of the storytime space and into the great room where most of the action happens.  There is such excitement when they come to check out the books they picked themselves or have found all the pictures of the scavenger hunt around the library.  They bring the classics – princesses and dragons, dogs and cats and of course tv favorites. I’m hopeful that these experiences will remain stored in their little minds and hearts, as they have remained for me. I still believe libraries are a treasure cove of amazing things and a vital part of communities.

Last month, however, the libraries closed to the public. A few days after that, I made the decision to stay at home. 

The library offered curbside service so that patrons could pick up books or materials that they had reserved before the emergency declaration. We have plenty of e-resources online, but because for some people, the web feels overwhelming, staff is available by phone to assist in navigating the resources. 

Behind the scenes, due to the potential risk of contamination with COVID 19, the library staff was disinfecting equipment and preparing materials to be placed in quarantine.  Because of the life span of the virus on paper or plastic, books, and DVDs can not be put back on the shelves directly.  The library materials need to sit out in quarantine for days.  As I said before, our site is small, and the only place considered available to quarantine books was in the great room in front of our circulation desk.  Due to the health risk involved, and after consulting my medical provider, I made the decision to stay home. 

As more information becomes available, new risk management protocols are in place to keep staff safe and patrons informed.  I tip my hat to those who continue to work for the library patrons in different capacities. I pray for them and their families, for they are part of the remarkable army of unsung heroes we’ve come to recognize during these difficult times. 

Currently, there is no opportunity for me to telecommute. It has been three weeks. I’m not sure where I go from here as there are so many unknowns.  My life right now seems up in the air, but this is not my first rodeo, I will get back to living my true life soon enough. 

As I searched the web for a photo to add to my post today, I found this quote on Google Images.   I think it suits me perfectly.  What do you think? Blog Curve

With the Mouth She Kisses My Kids

From the movie Analyze This                                                                                                 (Robert De Niro as a mob boss Paul Vitti and Billy Crystal as a psychiatrist, Ben Sobel)

Dr. Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?

Paul Vitti: I wasn’t with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.

Dr. Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?

Paul Vitti: No.

Dr. Sobel: Then why do you have a girlfriend?

Paul Vitti: What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?

Dr. Sobel: No, I’m not, I’m just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?

Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can’t do with my wife.

Dr. Sobel: Why can’t you do them with your wife?

Paul Vitti: Hey! That’s the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?

I wanted to add the clip for a better understanding but I couldn’t isolate the clip of this scene. I’ve just added the dialog.                                                                                                   

adorable animal animal world cat

Think about that in light of the events of this week.  The situation is not a joke.

Stay tuned for my next post to see why it matters. 

Just Friends, For all Time

Alondra Elena Delopas sat on a swivel chair in her lanai listening to the rain as the winds picked up and thunder clapped in the distance.  Baby Girl lay with her legs sprawled but her nose pressed against the screen. She struggled to see what was moving in the conservation land that bordered the small condo-villa community where they lived.  If Baby Girl saw something coming closer, she jumped and whimpered excitedly thinking she would get a chance to run out to chase after it.

Can’t Turn Back Time

shallow focus of clear hourglass

Alondra or “Lonnie,” as close friends and family called her, was having a rough week.  Today, clients canceled the only two appointments she had scheduled.  They didn’t want to look at houses in a storm; maybe they just weren’t ready. It’s happened before.  She usually found listening to the rain soothing, but today, the stormy tropical weather didn’t help her mood. She felt tired, cold and lonely.  She went back inside to read but couldn’t wrap her head around on another “kick your business into high gear” self-help book.  She turned to the mindlessness of surfing the net on her phone where she found the same stories, memes, and jokes all over again.

One story caught her eye.  It was another of those stories where old friends from high school find each other and decide to spend the rest of their days making up for lost time.  All of it made possible through the magic of social media.  The funny thing is that she recently had been thinking about her friend Bobby from high school. They had been in school together since seventh grade.  She’d adored him during high school and college but never in a romantic way.  Outside of school, they were part of the same social group from church, and they worked at the same summer jobs. Bobby and Lonnie enjoyed a lot of the same things, and she liked hanging out with him.  He was smart, witty, and amusing; they could talk for hours even when everyone else had gone.  Bobby had introduced Lonnie to her boyfriend Harry, and he started dating Bernice.

Many years later a co-worker told her that it was impossible for men and woman to be “just friends.”  She had started to argue the point by bringing up her friendship with Bobby, but before she opened her mouth, saw a memory flash before her.  It was a crisp autumn day in Upstate New York when Bobby’s parents invited her to drive with them when he returned to the State College after the break.

Trip Back to School

It was a two-hour ride, and his parents had made plans to stop at their friend’s house for lunch along the way.  Afterward, while they waited for his parents to finish their visit, Bobby and Lonnie went for a walk in the wooded land behind the house.  They chatted talked and laughed like so many times before, but in some way, Alondra sensed that it was not a day like every other.  At times she could be intuitive and sensitive to subtle changes in her surroundings. There seemed to be something in the air made her feel obligated to comment that it was too bad that Bernice could not come along.  She believed Bernice would have enjoyed the beautiful landscape dressed for the fall.  Bobby quietly agreed, and they walked on.

They stopped on a small wooden bridge as they crossed over the swollen creek.  A burst of cold air made Alondra regret that she had left her jacket back at the house.   Bobby stepped closer and put his arm timidly around her shoulder.  She felt his face so close to hers, and then as he gently turned her toward him, she felt his soft lips lightly brush hers.  Her immediate impulse was to push him away.  “What are you doing?” she reprimanded.   The hurt in his loving eyes pierced her heart, and she took his face in her hands and looked tenderly into his gentle mismatched eyes, one blue, and one hazel.  She told him she was crazy about him, how could she not; he was her dearest friend, but they couldn’t do this to Bernice.  Bobby nodded in agreement, and they started to walk back to the house in silence.

Awkward quiet moments always made Alondra respond with humor.  She elbowed Bobby in the ribs now and said jokingly that the bridge must have been bewitched because she had felt something strange too.  He sheepishly chuckled and added that without a doubt the setting was perfect for a romantic moment.  “What were we thinking? “  They said in unison, which caused them to laugh again and end the uncomfortable moment.  When they got back, his parents were ready to continue the trip.   At his dorm, they said their goodbyes as old friends do.  They promised to stay in touch and would see each other when he got back at his next school break.  And so it was until she left the state.  Their friendship survived.

That’s What Friends are For

Alondra never told Bobby of her conversation with Bernice several weeks prior.  Bernice told Alondra that she was feeling insecure about her relationship with Bobby.  She confessed that she wondered if Bobby, by spending so much time alone with Lonnie was feeling an attraction beyond friendship.  “You know, you are cute, petite and always dressed nice. Maybe…”   the words were left hanging in the air.  Alondra looked at her friend as if with disbelief.  First of all, Alondra considered herself too short and was often frustrated with her thick and wavy brown hair. Although she filled her clothes in all the right places, they were just hand-me-downs from her older cousin which she had adapted with accessories and trims from the five and dime so that they looked more age appropriate.

Bernice had powder blue eyes and baby fine blond hair that she always wore straight down as was the norm among their group.  She was tall and lanky; sometimes it seemed that she was still getting used to her young-adult body.  Alondra found the whole idea absurd and pooh-poohed Bernice’s fears.  Although she and Bobby never spoke of such things, Alondra reassured Bernice that Bobby loved her; that he was just a supportive friend who didn’t want Lonnie to deal with her recent break-up alone.

On her way home from State College with Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Alondra played that conversation over in her head.  She didn’t see it coming but did Bernice know anything before. The incident was never spoken of again by anyone.

Not that Person

Alondra didn’t know if it was the rough week that just past combined with the dreary, stormy weather that made her feel vulnerable enough to want to reach out to her old friend.  She had to admit that after that day in the woods, the “what if” would haunt her now and then.  Lonnie got a cup of tea and found herself searching Facebook profiles for Robert James Smith from Brooklyn, NY. She quickly became overwhelmed by the number of profiles with the same name all over the world.  She scolded herself and gave up the search. “This is ridiculous.  I will not be that person.”

Alondra Elena Delopas was not one to let a life lesson slip by.  Her life experiences had taught her that.  She remembered from somewhere a suggestion that moments stay in our memories so that we could retrieve their message when we need them.  She was sure these vivid memories of her friendship with Bobby came back to her so vividly for a reason now. Maybe, she thought, it was merely to confirm that Karma is a b!+@h.   “Hum,” she thought. “so this is what it feels like?”

Another verifiable cliché

Indeed the story seems familiar, almost too fresh in her memory. It seemed played out in reverse with older actors.  As she considered the analogy, she realized that her friend Nan was right when she paraphrased Gabriel Garcia Marquez. “Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have to give.”  Remembering her platonic love for Bobby helped her understand what confused her for years.  Remembering her relationship with Bobby was the missing piece of the puzzle.  As she accepted this truth, she let go of the pain and hurt.  She became aware that there was nothing to forgive. At that moment, she chose to remember the good times, the adventures, even the caring and affection.

Alondra Elena Delopas realized that she had been more fortunate than most. Love is meant to be shared, offered expecting nothing in return. She had shared something special and given her love more than once. Each time in a different way, with a different purpose and intensity but authentic, it was a true love.  No one could say differently.

She added another verifiable cliché to her list: “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. “

A couple of years later she felt that restlessness to try to find Bobby again.  For the sake of their friendship, she wanted to connect to see how his life had turned out.  She found him and wrote a letter that she never sent.

Read it at this link from a previous post.  https://rosalind.life/2018/05/28/the-letter-i-never-wrote/

#shapingyourstory  #DigDeeper

Oh coffee, dear coffee

Friday RDP: Coffee

shallow focus photo of orange ceramic mug on white saucer

I like to say I’m a social drinker when it comes to coffee.  My favorite is espresso, and I have such weakness for its aroma. The taste must not be bitter or harsh as it goes down the throat and lands warm in one’s belly.  It’s not unlike a fine brandy that goes down smooth and velvety but then can burn a hole in your stomach when

 

it hits bottom. 

Lately, tea sits better in my stomach.  Black English tea with oatmeal cakes for breakfast is part of my morning ritual and green tea infused with fruits for during the day. Sometimes, an herbal tea gets me through the night.  When I’m visiting with a coffee drinker, however, I can’t resist the smell, the heavenly fragrance of a good cup of coffee; the intoxicating aroma of espresso does make me a bit tipsy, and I struggle with the temptation knowing I will regret it later. 

aroma beans blur breakfast

Although you can get a great coffee smell and of course good coffee from the single cup pods, I prefer an authentic espresso maker.  To be clear, I’m not talking about the big digitalized models that take up half one’s counter space; I’m speaking of a small pot on the stove top.  It brews coffee by passing boiling water pressurized by steam through ground coffee.  I’ve concluded, that the secret to both good tea and coffee is in the boiling water – a hot running boil.  Sometimes if I’m feeling really daring, I will have my espresso with milk, steamed and made foamy with a handheld frother.   I know I’m going to lie awake thinking about it tonight, then I can say  “ I couldn’t sleep last night because of the coffee.”

 

Seriously though, besides the physical pleasure from the coffee, I also have an emotional attachment.  I don’t have to taste the coffee to feel I’m at my mother’s or grandmother’s kitchen table feeling safe and loved.  When we were young, we would have a cup of hot milk with a couple of drops of coffee.  We felt so grown up when we were able to participate in having a “café con leche” with the elders.  

Many years later when I lived alone in an apartment building in an old mill city in New England, there lived an older gentleman at the end of the hall near the exit door.  Every morning as I set out to go to work, I would be assaulted with the smell of freshly brewed espresso.  I knew he was making it like my grandmother and I was often tempted to knock on the door and invite myself in.  He didn’t seem like a friendly fellow; I wonder what would have happened if we were to share a cup of coffee and a piece of warm homemade bread with real butter.   What stories would he have to tell?  What stories would we have in common?

What’s your relationship with coffee?  Is it just a way to make it through the day?  Does the smell of coffee connect you with a memory of a loved one? An old friend perhaps?

My first week at #RagTag Daily Prompt.  #coffee  

This was fun!  Is the format OK?  Not sure about pingbacks. 

 

A PRECIOUS Tribute to Mom

This has been a week of anniversaries for me.  I’ve come to a place where I am at peace with each one.  I’ve reposted this in remembrance of my Mom.  I know she is free and sometimes I feel her so close to me.   I am forever grateful for her.  She wasn’t perfect and yet she was wonderful.  I hope you can enjoy

via AtoZ Challenge P is for PRECIOUS

The fragrance of our lives

I wonder how the month of May compares with Christmas for the retail industry.  It seems there are people out shopping for Mother’s Day, Graduations and let’s not forget Father’s Day and June weddings.  

On the weekend right after Mother’s Day, as Blaise walked into a major department store, he found himself accosted by a beautiful young woman who was dressed as if she was on her way to a night on the town.  She blocked his path and with a coquettish smile asked “wanna try?”  He froze as he took her in.  Her makeup was perfect- her lips just the right shade of red; her long black gown was open to show her long legs and she smelled wonderful.   As he regained his composure he realized she had a bottle of cologne in her hand, she was a fragrance model.   “It’s called ENOUGH, its debuting today and it’s guaranteed to make your girlfriend realize you’re all she’ll ever need.” She smiled again and winked at him and said, “Hi, my name is Marcy”

FragranceBlaise didn’t come in shopping for cologne but when Marcy wearing that big smile, pointed at him with a spritzer bottle, he responded: “sure, why not.”  He found that he did like the fragrance.  Smells like a man, he thought. He enjoyed feeling fresh, clean and masculine with a touch of cologne or aftershave. It reminded him of his dad.  On Sunday morning his dad told them that a man needs to clean up and be ready to stand before God.  He would wear his best shirt and use his best cologne. During the week he would head straight for the shower when he came home from the shop.  After a while his dad would come down with nails clean, hair combed back and smelling like a dandy just to please Mom.  That’s what a family man does his dad had taught him, always come clean to the dinner table.   Without a second thought, Blaise had Marcy ring it up.  The fragrance would be his present for Camille, his wife. 

On Monday Blaise had to be up early for work. After he showered and dressed, he remembered the new cologne he’d bought over the weekend.  Because he was going to the office, he sprayed himself lightly, just ENOUGH he smirked to himself at the clever play on words. 

In the bedroom, Camille was getting a whiff of something powerful coming from the bathroom, and she felt her stomach turn.  What on earth?!  When she sensed Blaise coming into the room, she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep.  She still had another hour before the alarm rang for her.   Blaise stood over the bed trying to decide whether or not to wake her so that she could enjoy him and his new cologne.   Camille wishing for him to go away with that smell, kept her eyes closed and pretended to roll away from him in her sleep.  Blaise tiptoed out of the room and headed to work. 

Blaise was greeted by Mrs. Meddles at the front desk like any other morning.  She was an older woman who reminded him of his mom.  She was always ready with a smile and a cheerful good morning as everyone came in.  “Don’t you look dapper today?”  Blaise gave her a shy smile “just as I do every day” he told her and continued on his way down the hall.   She stared after him a little longer as he walked out of sight and then it hit her, it was the fragrance that made him look different.  He was wearing cologne today and she could swear he had a spring in his step.  Or did he?  She asked herself.   She remembered Bill when he was that age.  He would get playful whenever he wore cologne.  She loved that clean fresh shaven smell.  It was like the chicken or the egg.  Did he get frisky because he was wearing cologne or because of her reaction to him?  It was so long ago, she felt lonely all of a sudden.  It had been years since she and Bill….. The last heart attack took her Bill away.  The stranger in her house just stared at her when she got home each evening.  Did he remember?  Fragrance is a powerful thing.  She wondered if she were to buy his old cologne or her perfume would he have a reaction? Would there be at least a flicker, a bit of recognition in his gray eyes?   “Good morning, don’t you look nice today?” she was grateful for the interruption.   “Good morning, Mrs. Meddles.  It’s always nice to see your smiling face in the morning.” said Mary Grey.   Mrs. Meddles was glad to have people streaming in regularly now as she greeted each one with a smile and a cheerful comment. 

On the other side of town, Camille was arriving at work.  As she got in the elevator, she heard Winnie Madison call out “hold it for us!”   Winnie came running to catch the elevator to their office, followed closely by her boyfriend, Randall.   Camille had heard all about Randall who worked on the same floor of their office building.  Winnie and Randall started saying their goodbyes, and Camille tried to focus on the numbers above the door in front of her as the elevator made its way up to the 22nd floor. Winnie told her it was difficult for her to be apart from him during the day.  “Doesn’t he smell wonderful?” Winnie asked “I can just eat him up”   Camille didn’t know where to look, but she had noticed a smooth, wood and musk fragrance as the elevator doors closed.  She was feeling lightheaded as she got off the elevator.  Camille didn’t want to remember all the intimate details Winnie had shared but found herself wondering if it was true what they said about fragrances and pheromones.   She thought of Blaise.

During the coffee break, Camille asked about Randall’s fragrance.  She admitted it was pleasant and told Winnie that she was thinking of getting new cologne for Blaise for Father’s Day. She told her of the incident that morning with whatever cheap, awful smelly thing that he wore after he showered.  “Of course, I know what kind it is; I bought it for him this weekend.  They were presenting it to the public at the mall.   It was a little pricey, but I think it’s worth it.  It’s called ENOUGH but be careful, it may be too much for you and Blaise.”  They shared understanding giggles.  Camille decided to go after work to pick up a bottle, but Winnie teased, “Fragrances don’t have the same reaction on everyone you know.”  Camille smiled; she didn’t think she would wait for Father’s Day to find out. 

Day Eighteen: Compose a Series of Anecdotes; the same narrative from a different point of view.  #everydayinspiration

The Girls were home today

alarm alarm clock antique bell
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The alarm went off as usual at 6:30 AM even though it was the weekend.  She heard Cason go into the shower and wondered where he was going so early today.  She rolled over got comfortable again.  It was too early to the day to start.  She heard him getting dressed and in a short while he mumbled something about the Club on his way out the door.  Whatever the reason that got him up and out this morning, she was grateful.

Time to get moving

The sun peeked through the blinds, and Arielle Delsapo jumped out of bed with excitement.  It was already 7:30 in the morning!  The kids were home for the weekend, and she loved it!  She planned to cook their favorite meals and pour on the loving.  Arielle still liked to make everything special for them whenever she had a chance.  She believed that if they found love and tranquility in their home, the world would seem like a better place.   

Not ready to tell them

Arielle pulled the curtains and opened the windows.  It was important to let the bright morning sun and fresh spring air fill every corner of the house with the beginning of a brand new day.  She quickly stuffed the bed covers in the hall closet and arranged the cushions on the couch.   She wanted to enjoy the day and not waste time explaining why she was sleeping on the sofa bed.  Satisfied that everything looked, as usual, she went to the room to shower and change.

Time to Cook it up

She looked at the time. She was glad Cason has gone to the club early this morning; he would probably be gone all day. That worked out fine.  It was 8:30 AM, surely the girls were awake already.  Like her, they were early risers but were enjoying a lazy Saturday morning, reading in bed and cuddling with the cats.  She knew once she started cooking, the smell of all their favorites would make it impossible to stay in bed.  She lovingly prepared pancakes, scrambled eggs, crisp bacon.  Her Dad would be here soon with an Italian breadstick warm from the bakery, and they would have real butter. 

She knew the kids would want coffee.  She took out her mom’s stovetop espresso maker for some old fashion “café con leche.”  The coffee would go on last to make sure they had a freshly brewed pot. She knew they would be out in the kitchen as soon as the fusion of aromas reached the bedrooms and announced that breakfast was ready.  She put out food for the cats and sat to drink some by the window as she waited for them all to get up. She enjoyed the smells and the sounds of a peaceful house. The curtains waved gracefully in the morning breeze hypnotizing and transporting her to another place full of anticipation and hope. She sipped her tea and let it take her away…..

The Kitchen smells of love

Arielle was snapped back to her kitchen as quickly as she had slipped out.  Lovey came into the kitchen sniffing the air with her eyes closed. “The cat wanted to get out. Hmmmm, yum  – where’s the coffee? “ Annie followed shortly after, she put her head down on the kitchen table and grumbled, “coffee?” Relieved for the interruption of her thoughts, Arielle jumped up to get a couple of mugs. 

The Grandpa and the fresh bread

As expected, her Dad arrived on cue with the warm bread, at 9:30 am. The girls were always happy to see him.  “Abuelo!”  Hugs and kisses all around.  Lovey grabbed another mug and plate, and Annie got the milk. They all sat around the table. They ate, laughed, and put on another pot of coffee.  Before they knew it, it was almost noon, and the girls were still in their pajamas.  Her Dad said he had errands to run and managed his goodbyes, without shedding a tear but he marveled one more time at how grown-up they were. 

An eventful day

 The girls wanted to get some things before they got back to school.  All three headed to the Mall.  The warm Spring weather was encouraging as they searched for jeans, sandals and sleeveless shirts.  It was 1:30 PM.  They were just about done but decided to check out which movies were playing.  Surely they could get a matinee in before dinner.  The girls had planned to meet up with friends afterward, and they tried to negotiate a time.  Arielle called Cason to see if he had a preference for dinner, but he said he couldn’t make it and they should make plans without him.  

Matinee and dinner

They picked a “chick flick” a romantic comedy about mothers and daughters adapting to major life changes.   It was almost 7:00 pm when it was over. They chose a new restaurant nearby.   It was trendy with just the right lighting, music and the food was good.  While they were waiting for dessert, Ariel took a deep breath and said “I’m done. I’m getting a divorce.” The girls looked at each other and finally Annie said, “Well its about time!”.  “No kidding” echoed Lovey.   They hugged their mom. They were not children anymore.  They had seen the writing on the wall. 

They enjoyed their desert and headed home. Lovey and Annie crossed paths with their step-dad Cason, who was going out for the night.  The girls decided to stay home with their mom and played Forty-Fives for awhile before going to bed.  Arielle went to the hall closet and took out the bedding for the sofa-bed.   She was glad to have spent another great day with her girls.  She went to their rooms and kissed each one good night.  They were reading, and each one had a cat snuggling under the sheets. 

Day Fourteen: Recreate a Single Day   #everydayinspiration   

Everybody Plays the Fool

Infect

When I saw today’s prompt, Infect, two blog topics popped into my mind, nasty oozing boils or sunshine and lollipops. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to where I want to go with my blog.  In recent days I read a great post by Leo the Nerdy Lion, encouraging new bloggers to find their passion, to find a voice and success will follow. He writes with humor, so I took it to heart.  Whether it’s to encourage writing, the arts or simply to be the best, we’ve probably all heard the saying “Find something you love to do, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” (Author Unknown from Quote investigator)

Infect – influence somebody’s feelings; to communicate an emotion such as enthusiasm or fear to somebody

I originally started writing this blog to vent and rant about politics and religion, but every time I start going down that path, it gets dark.  While politics and religion are things I’m passionate about, I don’t want to be stuck with the type of message.  Some days I may write about faith practices and social issues but generally,  I want to send out messages of faith, hope, love, and light in all shapes and sizes.  We all travel in that continuum of feelings from happiness to gloominess back and forth during our lives.  Where we stop or get stuck and which way we choose to go forward from there is so important.  

This morning I received a notification from an internet radio station with another subscription offer.  The gimmick was to put in the year of your graduation, and they will play all the top hits of that time.   Why not take a stroll down memory lane this morning?  “Everybody plays the Fool” was the first song and undoubtedly the one I could write about today.  I’d been blog surfing the last few nights, and among many creative, well-written blogs, I found a few broken hearts on the mend.  When I heard the song I chuckled, ain’t that the truth I thought.  Lots of us have been there.  Most of us manage to survive and move on in some manner. 

Today I want to infect you with hope, faith, love, and light.  Truly the most important is love.  Love yourself.  I’m not telling you anything new, you’ve heard it before.  I’m not talking about your looks or your style, your status – just you.  That presence inside that has love to give and wants love in return. Get to know that person.  Sometimes we walk around this earth, and we try to be everything to everyone.  We morph into what we think people want us to be and give what we think people want from us, but we don’t take time for ourselves to know ourselves, to love ourselves. 

When we make time to know ourselves, we can take a step back and look at our life objectively.  We are not afraid to ask the tough questions of ourselves or others.  We are not scared of the answers.  Whether in our personal lives or work, we all go into each relationship with certain expectations, certain assumptions.  We assume certain things are true for the others involved.  These assumptions can sabotage our relationships. Keep in mind that each person’s mind is coming from a different place.  Yes, you may have lots in common, but as I’ve said before our life experiences make us all unique in how we respond to specific situations.   You don’t know exactly what the other person is thinking or feeling.  Someone once told me “just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have to give.”   If there is nothing left in the box, it’s empty.  Don’t take it personally; there is nothing left to give.   

That being said, another wise friend told me: “enjoy each moment because you never know when the opportunity may come again.” Can you look back at your experience and find that there were enjoyable moments, maybe even moments that took your breath away?  Were there moments in which you gave love with all your heart and moments when you felt special and loved?  Keep that with you.  It is what it is, one particular moment in time and your life goes on.  The chances are that if you had that much love to give, your cup is still full and you have more to give.  There are different ways to share that gift.  Love has different shapes and sizes.  It may be another romantic relationship but don’t limit yourself to the possibilities. Look around; people are sharing love and addressing different needs all over the world.  Know yourself.

So why does everybody play the fool?  Why is it that fools fall in love?  Why do fools rush in? Some of it is hormones plain and simple.  The other reasons?  We believe in dreams and have faith in the future.

“To everything, there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Why does it hurt?  For the same reasons, because we lost our faith in our dreams when what we expected did not come to fruition the way we thought.  Change the pattern, re-write the story.   

“Do not cry because they are past!  Smile, because they once were!” (L. Jacobowski- courtesy of Quote Investigator)

 

PS- In addition to my Christian base faith, some of the ideas I have adopted in my life are from Dr. Miguel Ruiz books Four Agreements, the Mastery of Love and The Fifth Agreement.  You may recognize some concepts in my writing from time to time.