AtoZ Challenge-NEVER a Dull Moment

I remember those days when there was NEVER a dull moment in my life. Work, School, church, sports, birthdays, hospitals, friendships – drama at every turn. We spent our days running from one activity to the next, connecting and catching up in the car. No break during vacations either, they were usually jam-packed with activities as well. Trying to make the most of our time, how did we fit so much in a 24 hour period? Now I’m exhausted just thinking about it!

Now and then we’d call a timeout. The kids would sleep in, or they’d watch Saturday morning cartoons as they waited to have a leisurely breakfast with all the trimmings. Pancakes or French toast swimming in syrup or eggs and bacon with an Italian breadstick from the bakery in town, where my Dad had stopped before coming over for coffee. Usually, he managed to get it to us still warm from the oven. We’d use real butter and watch it melt on the bread right before our eyes. Just to remember it, my mouth waters.

In the summer we’d pack a picnic and head for the beach early enough to enjoy nature’s sights and sounds before the crowds lined the shore. We’d lay on our blankets soothed by the surf, the birds, and the ocean breeze. Later we would head to the boardwalk for a stroll, some fried dough and try our hand at the arcade games. The most challenging part was choosing a prize with that would equal the number of tickets we had won. At the end of the day were ready to start the week all over again.

It seemed like this was the natural order of things, but I think when we are in the middle of living like that, we forget to pause. I don’t remember the exact moment that I decided to do things differently but somewhere along the way I told myself it couldn’t continue. I was burning the candle at both ends as they say and burning out my kids as well. Years later I read the book The Four Agreements by Dr. Miguel Ruiz, and it validated all my decisions and choices. There was nothing magical about it. There was nothing in that book that I hadn’t heard before, but because it was able to put into words what I had been thinking, I felt enlightened. For a while, after I read it, I was giving that book away to family, friends, and co-workers – anyone who I felt needed to take another look at life.

I still keep those “Agreements” with myself. It is my understanding that in life there is NEVER a dull moment. I believe every moment is special whether they are quiet and peaceful or full of drama and pain. I had a friend who would always remind me “It is what it is.” I agree, but it’s up to us to take whatever “it” is and make the moments count. We fine-tune our skills with each experience and put it towards a rewarding life. We learn to listen to our internal voice and realize that when things are getting out of hand, we need to take care of ourselves first. It’s not selfish, its practical, its common sense. To be there for others, we need to be oK.

Does it make sense?

AtoZ Challenge- K is for …

So many choices today! Lots of fun K words that I can play with. K is for Kardashians is one story that I won’t address because it would prompt me to create a sarcastic, judgmental blog. Sorry, there is something about DIY royals that makes me want to shut off the TV. Their only claim to fame is money, outrageous behavior and in some cases, good looks. How people eat that up, I’ll never understand.

I was not a fan of the Free Willy movies either, but I could talk about those elegant black and white giants gracefully dancing in the open sea with a Tchaikovsky ballet playing in the background. However, I don’t like to think about when they get hungry and stop frolicking to grab a snack of penguin or baby seal. There is a reason they nicknamed Orcas “KILLER Whales.”

I prefer to tell you stories of when a group of us got together every Thursday for KARAOKE. Only about 3 of our friends really stepped up to the mike to pour their hearts out each week to remember the songs that helped them transition to adulthood. I’m more of a wind-beneath-your -wings kind of a person so that every now and then I would sing “back-up” for one of our soloists. As stories go, a younger generation started coming around wanting to join in on the good times. They complained however that the DJ only played old songs. Someone with a different sound soon replaced him, and we moved on. Another club, another DJ but the energy dwindled. We moved on to other things, but I was fun while it lasted. We still remember those days with fondness.

What about KARMA? This idea that has become part of our “everyday vernacular” as my English teacher would say. It’s a religious belief that our actions determine our future state – in this life or the next. People like to say “KARMA is a B*+*% “ but don’t really know why. Every day we see those bad things happen to good people and vice versa. I remember when things were not going well at work I would tell my colleagues, “I can feel my KARMA fraying around the edges. We need to figure this out because I’m not going anywhere with frazzled Karma! “. Totally inappropriate use and yet they understood. Go figure.

KARMA brings me to K is for KINDNESS. Another favorite truism of mine is some variation of “be kind to everyone you meet for the other person may be fighting a battle you know nothing of.” A universal truth is that no one knows what is going on in our heads or our hearts – except ourselves. To paraphrase Dr. Miguel Ruiz’s Toltec Wisdom, each one of us is the star of our own movie, and we struggle to act our parts the best we can. I have worked and personally know many people who put on a mask to hide the pain of their struggle or fears. I’m one of those that believes that no one enjoys being miserable there is usually an underlying stressor. I recognize that I can’t save the world but one act of kindness one person at a time goes a long way. I have witnessed that.

I know I am a shameless dreamer and do-gooder, like KERMIT the Frog – which also happens to start with K.

What are your thoughts about KARMA and KINDNESS?

AtoZ Challenge – JOURNEY

“Life is about the JOURNEY, not the destination.” I consider this quote one of my favorite expressions which continually renews the way I look at life. Whenever I’m with someone who is planning a wedding or a great vacation, I always remind them to enjoy everything leading up to the big event because it’s all over so quickly. People today spend countless hours and dollars planning for that special day, but then they are too busy or tired to enjoy it. I love to look at old photos of fun times, but I also warn people about trying to capture too many moments with the phone, you may be missing the opportunity for adventure or special moments that you can’t rewind. Laugh about the stressors and mishaps for someday they’ll be great stories to tell the grandchildren or reminders for yourself before you put your head down to sleep.

I often remember people that I’ve met on my JOURNEY and I acknowledge that whether it was for a moment or a season, a blessing or a lesson; those who’ve crossed my path have touched my life and added a bit to who I am today. One friend was especially attentive to enjoy the JOURNEY and life’s offerings. “Why stress about where it’s going tomorrow if it’s wonderful now?” Over the years, I’ve come to understand the importance and adapt that philosophy to my life and my JOURNEY.

To give proper credit, I went searching for the author of the quote that has become such a part of our everyday language (and of course memes). I found that Ralph Waldo Emerson is often credited with “Life is a journey, not a destination” but in fact, several ministers and Bible teachers of the time used similar language in journals or teachings. https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/08/31/life-journey/

It makes sense to me that such a quote would also have religious connotations. I’m glad some preachers and teachers have tried to redirect their communities. If you’ve read my previous blog posts, you may have guessed that my JOURNEY has been via a road with twists and turns. For part of my life, I was teaching that the most important thing in life was the final destination on the other side of those Pearly Gates. For that, I’ve apologized.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped to take a break and look around me. I noticed that some people were too focused getting to the Promised Land, the mansions, walking on the Streets of Gold that they lost the purpose of their JOURNEY and forgot the words of Jesus Christ. “For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me in. I needed clothes, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you looked after me. I was in prison, and you came to visit me.” … ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’Matthew 25:35-40.

After a while, I took up my satchel and changed direction – same JOURNEY, different route. Rather than waiting to see all the wonders “over yonder,” I’ve decided to enjoy JOURNEY, and make the most of the blessings in my simple life.

A to Z challenge – About

Today, as I’ve started to feel human after a terrible allergic episode, I’m trying to engage in the A to Z Challenge that I signed up for last month. I’ve decided to keep it simple and start the Challenge with ABOUT and perhaps try to explain why I’ve decided to write a blog that seems to be about me.

I had been writing a blog with a running title of “Self-Censored/ A blog about me. Verbal snapshots of a simple life”. The other day I was discussing my blog with someone who asked, “why would you write a blog about yourself, it’s not like you are someone famous … You need to write about something that your reader will value and come back for …”. These were good points, so I took the information and filed it in my brain under “THINGS TO PONDER.” Here I am, trying to ponder as I participate in the A to Z challenge. Please join me.

Over the past few months, I finally had the chance to go through boxes of old photos and family memorabilia – which is probably why my allergies are out of control. The treasures I found prompted me to contact some people and take an opportunity to sit and talk. Some of these folks I’ve known all my life, some all of theirs, and others for at least a couple of decades. A constant theme in these conversations has been what was going on beyond the photo, beyond the eye of the camera.

It was in those memories that we learned things about each other that were hidden in plain sight. For example – who knew that you sang and played guitar on stage at a coffee house in New York City when you were in college? Or that you had looked up who Ty Cobb was and were proud to be part of the team, wear your uniform and play at those little league games that your Dad dragged you to each weekend. Who knew you didn’t really get lost on the subway that day when everyone was so worried – instead, you had a crazy adventure with friends. Who knew you stepped up to take care of the family dog and neighborhood strays when your older sister went off to college? Who knew that at age ten you already knew how to make something beautiful out of repurposed materials? Who knew that you always wanted to play the clarinet but when it was your turn to chose, the trumpet was the only instrument left, and yet you thoroughly enjoyed jammin’ with the band? Who knew all these things, these little sparks, you would carry in your heart alone until the time was right to shine?

I want my reader to feel a smile creep across the face as he or she joins me in the memory. Do you remember walking out of the comfort zone and then feeling ecstatic and relieved all at once. What a feeling to know you survived – you did it, and you enjoyed it! What if you haven’t yet? Well, why not. Tomorrow is another opportunity. What if you don’t have an experience readily available in your toolbox? I’m hoping you can borrow the energy from one of the stories I share.

I worked in a state-run system of human services for many years where I provided rehabilitative and supportive counseling for countless clients. Some didn’t have much of an opportunity to make happy memories, but somehow they knew there was something better, and that’s what kept them going. Some folks, knowing that they had nothing more to lose, took more chances. The strength and resilience I saw in these people were a blessing to my own life.

Those are the kind of stories I want to share – true stories of simple everyday people, putting one foot in front of the other walking the path before us. Few of us can skate through life on Easy Street. Most of us will follow the scenic route with all its twists and turns. Let’s take plenty “snapshots”.

Give to Caesar…

The other day, in answer to a recent assignment, I wrote a quick knee-jerk response to a blog post that piqued my interest. I found the post on a blog I follow that recommended another site. https://promptlings.wordpress.com/2018/03/27/we-have-met-the-enemy-redux/ Today, I am trying to respond in a more thoughtful way, and hopefully, it makes sense.

A couple of years ago, when I first started this blog, I thought I would use it as a place to respond in an unfiltered or uncensored way, to the political news of the day. In the same way that J.Dennison describes in her Filosofa’s Word, I am often annoyed by the response of extreme, right-wing, conservative political groups in regards to social issues in our country. I had planned to use this forum to voice that sentiment, but as time and the election passed, I became more infuriated with frustration and decided that type of blog would not work for me. I feel that people are so entrenched in their point of view that there is no longer room for dialogue. However, when confronted by the blatant abuse of power, I feel compelled to comment. J. Dennison’s article was written last year, but as she explains the problem continues and appears to be a norm more than an isolated incident.

A couple of days ago I received CBS News article about former President Jimmy Carter titled, Jimmy Carter on his journey of “Faith”. It was an interview with Jane Pauley about his impressions on life, religion, politics and the current state of affairs in this country. It also served to promote for his new book, “Faith: A Journey for All” (published by Simon & Schuster, a CBS company) https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jimmy-carter-on-his-journey-of-faith/

Jimmy Carter has been a favorite of mine for a long time. Even though he was a one-term president, his life out of office has been remarkable in terms of his work with human trafficking, civil rights, world peace etc. What I like the most about Jimmy Carter is that although his faith is part of who he is, he has always been very clear about the importance of maintaining the separation of church and state. President Carter has used the Biblical passage in Matthew 22: 20-22 to support his stance with religious leaders in this country. In this passage, Jesus of Nazareth is asked by a prominent religious group of the time if they should give “the tribute to Caesar”. Jesus asked them to show him a coin and poses the question, “Whose image is this?” When they respond, “It’s Caesar”. He gives them back the coin and simply tells them “then give to Caesar what is Caesar’s”

I believe that many of the religious leaders of today are very much like the High Priests in Jesus time. In a simple comparison, both groups are driven by special interests that benefit them over the common good. They get caught up trying to maintain the status quo by clinging to archaic traditions and forgetting basic spiritual teachings. Christian religious leaders in this country have overstepped the boundaries and not for the good of the faithful. I can also easily compare their increasing influence over our government policies to Ayatollah Khomeini’s surge to power in Iran in 1979.

The meshing of fundamentalist and conservative “values” in current political trends is part of what is causing such divisiveness in our country. On the surface, it appears that it is merely tension among racial or ethnic groups. Unfortunately, we often see that the churches can turn believers against each other for the “sake of the Gospel”. We can look back to see that Christians were OK with slavery because the Bible talks about Christian slaves. Now we see that many prominent Christian groups are hateful toward the LGBT groups. They are Ok with domestic violence and rape of a wife because of a verse in the Bible written to address a particular faith community. These groups advocate for employers to provide medical care s they see fit – Cialis for men but not birth control for women and I can go on.

I was raised in a fundamentalist, Christian environment. I even attended a Christian Bible College my first year right after high school. It was there when I first began to really question what I had been taught. I would often be sitting in a class and think to myself “Wait- what?? Come again? Can you repeat that? I don’t think I heard you right? Didn’t Jesus pray for us to be as one so that the world would know that this is from God? Why are you throwing the brother under the bus?” Bottom-line, although my faith remains intact, I have moved away from the basic premise that the only way to God is by way of the Fundamentalist Evangelical teachings.

Twelve years ago I converted to Catholicism with all its scandals and turbulent history. It was at a time in my life when I craved spirituality but did not want to go back to my previous involvement in” holiness churches”. I was fortunate to find a Catholic Community that met my needs. I had friends, members of the local parish who were good, sincere, caring souls. I decided to take a closer look. The Pastor was an Augustinian Friar who demonstrated a great love for the people in the immigrant city where he served. I was taught the importance and the difference between traditions, rituals and a personal spiritual relationship with God. Contrary to what I had been taught, this was not mindless idol worship, but rather these traditions are tools to help enhance our spiritual practice and connection with God. This community participated in different yet fulfilling types of worship; all within the Christian teachings of the Catholic Church.

Since this is Holy Week for Roman Catholics and other Christian faiths, I wanted to share a “verbal snapshot” of how I experienced my first Lenten season and Holy Week in that Catholic community. The first thing I noticed was on Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent was that Church was dressed as the desert, devoid of all splendor to reflect a spiritual pilgrimage of sacrifice that would end with Easter Sunday celebrations. As Lent progresses into the final days of Holy Week, the dressing of sanctuary continues to change to reflect the spiritual journey of Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, Easter Vigil, and Easter Sunday.

One of the biggest traditions of Lent around the world is the Via Crucis or the Way of the Cross. It refers to a series of images and Bible readings depicting the life Jesus Christ culminating on the day of his crucifixion. In my parish, these images were placed around the Sanctuary and during the weeks of Lent, each day prayer groups would stop at each image to reflect on Bible passages and pray. This particular community in an old mill city in Massachusetts had a predominantly Latino population. Culturally it was a big deal that on Good Friday the Via Crucis was taken to the streets. The Stations of the Cross were now at a homeless shelter, food pantry, soup kitchen, school, nursing home, hospital, rehab facility etc – wherever there was a need. The crowd that gathered behind the priest, the simple wooden Cross and Bible characters, numbered several hundred. As we walked, we sang solemn songs of repentance and sorrow and yet there was an uplifting spirit of hope.

At each station we stopped, the Priest read a passage from scripture, shared a reflection about the need of the particular station and most of us joined in prayer. I imagined that the group gathered here had similar characteristics to that crowd outside of Jerusalem on the way Golgotha. There was the faithful who came to worship and relive those moments spiritually with the Lord. There were those who came out because that’s what you do on Good Friday if you are Catholic Latino and live in this city. There were kids that had obviously come out to check out the cute girls and vice versa. There were moms with little ones and old ladies in wheelchairs. There were those hanging out the windows and front steps watching the “procession” go by – some probably silently praying for the souls of idol worshippers – not really understanding what was going on but what they were taught. No judgment- I was there once.

The crowd, in response to the scriptures that the Priest read, were yelling “Crucify him, crucify him” or a little further responded by mocking “Jesus” as he carried the cross. It was around this time that I got lost in my thoughts and transcended to that place so long ago. I asked myself a simple question… if I had lived then, which side would I be on? I had been raised a good, church girl. I had respected the church leaders and more than once followed their advice – sometimes even when things didn’t feel quite right. I probably would have listened to him for a while as he taught on the mountainside. I would have heard of his miracles. Perhaps he would have healed my mother. According to what is written, for their own special interest and personal gain, the high priests and religious leaders enticed the crowd to request that the Roman government crucify the Nazarene. Would I have turned my back on him now because the High Priest told me he was evil, blasphemes? Hindsight is 20/20 they say. Sound familiar?

We don’t have a physical Christ to crucify today, but His teachings are being attacked or shredded bit by bit each day. In John 18:36 Jesus said “my kingdom is not of this world… It is in another place.” So why are church leaders today forcing their beliefs upon our nation, hating strangers like the Good Samaritan of the Bible, making judgments by their own standards and blaming Jesus? They use verses out of context to convince their followers. Even Trump has been heard quoting the Bible.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have friends who I care about, and I believe they are truly faithful to the spirit. They are filled with all the love and compassion that one would expect of a follower of Christ. There are many good people in these fundamentalist evangelical churches looking for peace, looking for love and have found it for the Spirit is more powerful than man. There are plenty of good pastors that truly have a vocation to serve. We must not let those power hungry people turn us against each other and take over all that is good in our country. Church and state must coexist. I believe people need spirituality but the government should not dictate how we address our personal spiritual needs.

The lovers, the dreamers and me

For this assignment, I try to conjure up a visual of who will read my blog- my audience. I’ve spent the past couple of days visiting other writers, looking at style and content while trying to imagine their respective audience. I find that there are some fabulous sites out there and I try not to be intimidated by the talent or expertise that I see. I know that I tend to enjoy sites that have a personal component even though it may be a business page. I decided to focus on MY passion – why am I writing? I’m writing to tell a story – simple as that.

Someday I may publish these writings for my granddaughters. However, I am envisioning my reader today, and that person looks something like me – in my soul. Regardless of gender, it will be someone who understands that there are great treasures in our simple moments. It’s not an original idea I understand. I’ve seen memes that say “we do not remember days, we remember moments.” or “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” I’m sure you have too. I picture my reader as someone who just needs an interruption, a break from this crazy, fast and furious train ride that we call life. That someone is looking for a pause button– a quick light, read to go with a cup of coffee, hot tea or a glass of wine at the end of the day.

When I was a young adult, every weekend my siblings and I would take turns visiting our grandparents. During a difficult work week, I started to look forward to the day when I would drive my mother to her parents’ house – especially when my grandmother’s younger sister was in town. She was sassy, and her green eyes sparkled. She knew how to bring a blush of color to my mild and meek grandmother’s cheeks.

It was that time when people still sat on the front porch to talk and greet the neighbors as they walked by. We had an unspoken appointment with my mother’s sisters and every now once in a while one of my uncles or another cousin would join us. We would sit for hours and have a beverage with a delicious treat from our favorite bakery. My grandparents took turns with weekly news updates about the extended family which included anecdotes of comparable events of long ago and almost always ended with the question “What is the world coming to?” This simple statement would lead us down a crooked path filled with the twists and turns of current events and politics.

I came to treasure those afternoons filled with stories. I felt connected to the generations before me who had overcome hardships that I couldn’t even imagine and yet, they sang and laughed and wrote poems.

As I was thinking about the mood and the spirit of my blog, the melody of the “Rainbow Connection” kept playing in the background of my mind and I hummed along as I wrote.

…Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it’s done so far
What’s so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
What so we think we might see

Someday we’ll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me…

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/S2DTLbTQj0I

Because Expurgate Sounds too Dramatic

I’m enjoying the assignments at Blogging: Learning the Fundamentals.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/blogging-university/blogging-fundamentals-materials/#day2

As I work on my second assignment, I am already one day behind. This task was to take a look at my title, play with other ideas and publish a post explaining the outcome. I’ve decided not to change the title, but I have changed the tagline to reflect a slightly different focus.
I’d been a bit skeptical about the title. I wasn’t sure it was conveying the spirit of the blog, so I clicked on my dictionaries looking for options. I’m writing about me, which would make it “Self-Centered” but while that title would certainly raise eyebrows, it’s not really me. I am aware that everyone around me has a personal story to tell and I’m generally mindful and sensitive to that. I believe effective communication is important in any kind of relationship. We maintain an active open dialog by listening without imposing judgment or pushing our ideas on others. One of my favorite fables growing up was Aesop’s “The Wind and the Sun.” https://fablesofaesop.com/the-north-wind-and-the-sun.html “Kindness effects more than severity.”

This brings me to the “Censored” part.

Expurgate is a synonym for Censored offered by my thesaurus. To edit something by removing offensive parts. To remove words or passages considered offensive or unsuitable from a book before publication.
While it can be an appropriate word, it seems too much like Exorcise, which is definitely not what I was going for. I was raised on conservative and fundamentalist values. Although my own ideas and opinions have evolved, I still have family and friends that I care about deeply that abide by that way of life. This blog originated as a place where I could rant and rave without offending. I have decided instead to tell the stories of those snapshots in my head. I will be truthful but I will not rant much, and I will try at least not to offend most. I have decided to keep the title “Self-Censored” A blog about me –verbal snapshots of a simple life.

Learning the Fundamentals

Assignment 1

As I was growing older and wiser, I would tell myself – “when you retire, you can devote time to writing”. I did retire, but one thing led to another, and I put writing on the high shelf in the storage closet for a bit longer. I enjoy writing, and I’ve started blogging at least 3 times before. I took the Blogging 101 course a couple of times, but after it was finished, I had a hard time staying committed. I like working in community, so I’m back to fundamentals, brushing up my skills in order to start a writing challenge.

In trying to zero in on my purpose for the blog, I went back to look at unfinished projects on my computer. I think I will stick with the subject about me. My blog is “Self-Censored.” I’m not sure the play on words comes across – maybe I need to work on that. I hope blogging will get my juices flowing. I had been thinking of self-publishing a book about the “snapshots” of the life that I’ve lived with family and friends. When I look back at a snapshot in my mind, I try to envision how we each experienced that moment in time.

Old photos of my mom show a beautiful woman with style and poise, flawless skin- regardless of age and sparkling greens eyes. She always held her head high, defiant and fearless-usually looking straight at the camera. Outside of that frame, we knew she suffered a disabling neuromuscular disease, legal blindness and finally was taken from us by cancer at age 54. In spite of all her physical problems, her spirit WAS like the image in the pictures – beautiful and strong. People came to her for help and advice and she gave them whatever she had.

I believe this is s a universal experience. I am different things to different people. Each person has a version of the ME that they are comfortable with, a behavior or reaction they expect of me, but my Core is one. We all play different roles in a variety of situations, but we are always the star or protagonist in our own movie. We are mothers or fathers, children, lovers, bosses and underlings, angels or demons but no one knows what is truly in our hearts, what really motivates us- except ourselves.

I plan to share these verbal snapshots as I’m calling them and explore the characters in each scene. All stories will be based on real life but some will be edited, colored and “photo-shopped” with my imagination.

I hope you join me on my journey. I appreciate your feedback and assistance.

I’m Up for the Challenge!

I was glad to stumble upon this challenge while looking for inspiration to revive my blog. I enjoy writing, and I’ve started blogging at least 3 times before but life gets in the way. I took the Blogging 101 course a couple of times, but after it finished, I had a hard time staying committed. I like working in community though. My aim is that my central theme for the A to Z challenge will be similar to my last post “The way we were, is who we are.” It’s about how our past affects our future. I believe that people are innately good so don’t expect that my blog will get dark and heavy. I will also try to stay away from religion and politics except for a passing reference. I’m hoping that after 26 consecutive days, I will have formed a habit. Something like the “21-day fix”.

In choosing a theme, I was thinking of things that have been on my mind and unfinished on my computer, I’ve decided to stick with the subject about me. My blog is “Self-Censored.” I’m not sure the play on words comes across though. It’s about me, but I am different things to different people. Each person has a version of the “me” they are comfortable with, of the behavior or reaction they expect, but I am one – my Core is one. The basic ideas and values that I had when I was a kid – “coming of age,” if you will, are the same as the young bride, the widow, the mom, the grandma, the divorcee, the Sunday School teacher, the boss, the counselor, etc. The difference is I feel that I have “looked at life from both sides now” and I have a voice and power to act. Old age has its perks after all.

The Way We Were is Actually the Way We ARE!

This past week was my mother’s birthday. She would have been 86. Her cousin, who shares the name of their paternal grandmother, celebrated her 90th birthday the week before. As I saw FB posts of Cousin celebrating with her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, I felt a selfish sting of jealousy and longing for my own mom. On her birthday I wanted to honor HER and started down the proverbial rabbit hole looking for new pictures to share.
I had one particular photo in mind but didn’t find it where I thought it should be. One box led to another, and I was lost for a week! It’s not as bad as it sounds… but whenever I had a moment, I was lost in my thoughts and “misty colored memories.” There were celebratory baseball cards from the Miracle Mets, slogan buttons for different causes and love beads. There were old notes and letters from friends about the most recent love tragedy or gossip -“Remind me to tell you when I see you later.” We passed notes to each other as we crossed in the hallway between classes in high school. I re-read letters sent from my mom and little sisters during my first year in college. They always added with love from Dad, Brother, the Dog and any stray cat they had named and were feeding at the time. I’m glad I kept these. They brought me back beyond the smiling faces of old photographs to the way we really were – to the struggles, the tears, and the adventures – now after having lived almost another half-century, they sound adorable and feel like a walk in the park on a spring day.
One of the treasures I found was my old yearbook from Intermediate School 88. Our advisor had included a couple of my writings – not the best entries in the book but certainly reflected the feelings of coming of age. “My Trademark” it was called and prompted me to write this blog today. As I went through the boxes, I began to realize that our hopes, dreams basic sense of who we are, remain the same. My little sister still loves animals. She and her husband bought some land when their kids were little, and despite her allergies, through the years they have had a variety of farm animals in addition to several dogs and her beloved cats. Her twin remains passionate about protecting and giving her all to care for those she loves most. My brother continues to do his own thing perhaps in the search for the next big adventure. My friends have lived and moved forward in the same way. Their strengths or weakness in academics and social settings more often than not reflect who they are today.
As for myself, my trademark also remains the same… the girl in the background observing, the one who will be the “homework helper” to the kid no one likes, the one who likes to talk to my older relatives and the “missionary” who is not afraid to take a stand for my beliefs. By far the greatest gift to my present-day self was seeing a couple of McGovern/Shriver ’72 pins in my box. Through the years I doubted my strength as an independent thinker. Growing up in a fundamentalist church and attending a bible college during the year of my first presidential election, I truly didn’t remember who I voted for – probably because I couldn’t talk about it openly. I often wondered if I had buckled to pressure and voted for Nixon but in that box of my secret treasures, I found my answer. Like the 2016 elections, my candidate did not win, but I don’t regret my choice.

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