AtoZ Challenge – JOURNEY

“Life is about the JOURNEY, not the destination.” I consider this quote one of my favorite expressions which continually renews the way I look at life. Whenever I’m with someone who is planning a wedding or a great vacation, I always remind them to enjoy everything leading up to the big event because it’s all over so quickly. People today spend countless hours and dollars planning for that special day, but then they are too busy or tired to enjoy it. I love to look at old photos of fun times, but I also warn people about trying to capture too many moments with the phone, you may be missing the opportunity for adventure or special moments that you can’t rewind. Laugh about the stressors and mishaps for someday they’ll be great stories to tell the grandchildren or reminders for yourself before you put your head down to sleep.

I often remember people that I’ve met on my JOURNEY and I acknowledge that whether it was for a moment or a season, a blessing or a lesson; those who’ve crossed my path have touched my life and added a bit to who I am today. One friend was especially attentive to enjoy the JOURNEY and life’s offerings. “Why stress about where it’s going tomorrow if it’s wonderful now?” Over the years, I’ve come to understand the importance and adapt that philosophy to my life and my JOURNEY.

To give proper credit, I went searching for the author of the quote that has become such a part of our everyday language (and of course memes). I found that Ralph Waldo Emerson is often credited with “Life is a journey, not a destination” but in fact, several ministers and Bible teachers of the time used similar language in journals or teachings. https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/08/31/life-journey/

It makes sense to me that such a quote would also have religious connotations. I’m glad some preachers and teachers have tried to redirect their communities. If you’ve read my previous blog posts, you may have guessed that my JOURNEY has been via a road with twists and turns. For part of my life, I was teaching that the most important thing in life was the final destination on the other side of those Pearly Gates. For that, I’ve apologized.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped to take a break and look around me. I noticed that some people were too focused getting to the Promised Land, the mansions, walking on the Streets of Gold that they lost the purpose of their JOURNEY and forgot the words of Jesus Christ. “For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me in. I needed clothes, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you looked after me. I was in prison, and you came to visit me.” … ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’Matthew 25:35-40.

After a while, I took up my satchel and changed direction – same JOURNEY, different route. Rather than waiting to see all the wonders “over yonder,” I’ve decided to enjoy JOURNEY, and make the most of the blessings in my simple life.

A to Z challenge – INTENTIONS

I started blogging again past the ides of March 2018. Inspired by a page I was following, a few days later I signed up for the A to Z challenge for April 2018. I was ready to go. As things go, I started five days after everyone else. No big deal. I’ll post twice a day until I catch up. Well, that didn’t work out and alas all my good INTENTIONS have left me feeling frustrated but not quite discouraged.

I’m not going to lie; I was ready to say OK, maybe this daily blogging is not for me. I put too much pressure on myself, and it stops being fun. I want to be creative, thoughtful and if a post calls for it, I want to be accurate. It feels lifeless, mechanical and automated. I went back to my Reader to find a wonderful post I read a few days ago in which I saw myself. The writer described her process, and I recognized it was how I’ve been operating all these years – Binge Writing. Something or someone will trigger my imagination which makes the sparks fly, and I’m out the gate writing every chance I get. I’ll make notes any time of day on my phone, on the back of an envelope, store receipt, etc. and stitch it all together to make a story. I’ll go at it for a couple of weeks, maybe a couple of months but then I seem to hibernate. I am keeping this blog entry for future INSPIRATION. https://brevity.wordpress.com/2018/03/26/staying-out-of-the-headlights-on-finding-my-own-writing-process/

I was about to try something different and throw in the towel for the A to Z challenge when I remembered that this blog was about ME. I took on the challenge with the honest INTENTIONS to get myself back in the habit of writing- period. Yes, was hoping that after 26 days, a natural part of my daily routine will be for me to get on my computer to write – after I walk the dog and have my tea with mini protein cakes. My apologies to the bloggers in the community that have diligently kept up with the challenge as described in the instructions but I’ve decided then that I will take a detour and resume my challenge for the rest of the month with the ninth letter corresponding to April 9th – I.

Onward to J!

Five Minutes of Fame

Every two weeks in the city where I live, a small group of bloggers and affiliates meets at a locally owned coffee shop to chat, troubleshoot, or share tips and ideas. I had been blogging somewhat consistently for a couple of weeks and wanting to keep the momentum; I finally made it to a meeting. As luck would have it, a journalist from a local news outlet had just surprised the group facilitator to do a story about Blogging and was asking to interview a few group members – today.

In one serendipitous moment, I found myself as one of only two bloggers to show up for the meeting today. I agreed to interview as an honest to goodness “blogger” with about ten posts under my belt and a page in the middle of reconstruction. The interview went well considering it was spur-of-the-moment. I was surprised at how relaxed I felt as I enthusiastically spoke of my “Self Censored” page for my five minutes of fame.

I watched the segment air this morning which caused cobwebs and dust to blow around those corners of my mind. I remember watching myself after another interview in what seems to be another lifetime. My dark brown hair was blown dry in a smooth shoulder length bob with professional, understated makeup. The dark gray skirt suit that I wore to important meetings was freshly out of the cleaners, and I wore a royal blue sweater because everyone still tells me that is definitely my color. I was to talk about a new independent living housing program for our clients and a family group which would help everyone with the transition. I had practiced and had index cards, and yet I froze. If not for my co-worker’s help, I would have been completely lost – what a disaster I thought. Whose idea was this anyway?

Today as I watched myself, I chuckled. I looked so comfortable in my own skin. My hair is short, gray and wild. My clothes were not pressed or laid out from the day before; plus my voice was still hoarse from a recent bout of laryngitis. I wasn’t prepared for the TV that day; I was flying by the seat of my pants, and yet I wasn’t afraid.

All is not perfect. My GPS doesn’t work very well, and the road is still crooked with plenty of bumps and ridges. I am content in my journey though, and I’m looking forward to seeing what’s around the bend. I think my younger self would be proud and relieved.

How would you answer the age-old question? What would you say to your younger self?

AtoZ Challenge – oh, BEHAVE

Here I sit on my second day at the challenge. I realize other members have very clear goals for their themes, but because I was living in the moment, I jumped in without thinking it through. So far I’ve started to think about the next theme B, as soon as I posted the first letter A – ABOUT. This morning I started to write about BEING: Existence. In keeping with my mantra of keeping it simple, I chose the definitions from Oxford Dictionaries. These include being alive, living and my favorite – the nature or essence of a person. This “essence” is really who we are; it’s the spark, it’s what makes us act the way we do depending on the circumstance. It’s what stirs inside when we are excited and hopeful or feels like a lead brick in our stomach when we get bad news.

I was just getting warmed up on this topic, or maybe I saw it was eventually heading towards that other B-word – Boring when a thought crossed my mind “Oh behave!”. It was Austen Powers in my head. True, I didn’t want to get all deep and philosophical about my existence. Getting all straight-laced, proper and preachy is easy. I decided instead to switch topic because as the oldest child, it seemed that “oh behave!” was all I heard from my mom.

I suppose she thought my being alive had a particular purpose. She reminded me to be a good girl, to get good grades, to stop whining or being mouthy or whatever because I needed to be an example for my younger siblings. To be fair, it certainly wasn’t the only thing I heard, my mom was pretty cool, and because I loved her, when I was home, I behaved, the way she wanted for her higher purpose.

Now and then I needed to take off my nerd hat and shake out my uncontrollable hair. Not that I was a wild thing or at least I never really thought myself in that way, but the other day in my memorabilia box I found a note. The note is probably 50 years old. It was from one of my best friends in high school, and it appears that she passed it to me when we crossed in the hallway during a change of class. In her note, she said she had to talk to me in person about something urgent. To which she added,” I know you’ll understand, I’ve seen your crazy side, I don’t think many people have, but I know ….”. I’m not one of those people who need a little “something, something” to get the party started but she was a quiet and serious girl; any number of fun things may have felt crazy to her. We loosely stay in touch through social media now, but I didn’t contact her to see if she remembered what that was all about. I wonder if she’s learned to get “crazy”.

I am fully aware that I still I have a “crazy side.” I have great fun with friends and family, but mostly I keep it contained until I’m with my granddaughters or my grand nieces and nephews. Sometimes I hear “oh behave, Mom!” from behind my daughter’s stern grin. I enjoy the payback though. It doesn’t take much; a silly walk, a funny face or changing the words to a favorite song as you are singing as loud as you can. I love when we all get to that place where our bellies ache from laughing.

Enjoying those moments is the essence of my being, of my existence. When I’m feeling out of sorts and not very jolly, I seek out chances to laugh or even scavenge for some giggles. I try not to let the well run dry because that’s how I manage to keep it together. These are the memories that I summon up when I need enough energy to climb uphill or swim against the current.

How do you do it? What is the essence of you?

A to Z challenge – About

Today, as I’ve started to feel human after a terrible allergic episode, I’m trying to engage in the A to Z Challenge that I signed up for last month. I’ve decided to keep it simple and start the Challenge with ABOUT and perhaps try to explain why I’ve decided to write a blog that seems to be about me.

I had been writing a blog with a running title of “Self-Censored/ A blog about me. Verbal snapshots of a simple life”. The other day I was discussing my blog with someone who asked, “why would you write a blog about yourself, it’s not like you are someone famous … You need to write about something that your reader will value and come back for …”. These were good points, so I took the information and filed it in my brain under “THINGS TO PONDER.” Here I am, trying to ponder as I participate in the A to Z challenge. Please join me.

Over the past few months, I finally had the chance to go through boxes of old photos and family memorabilia – which is probably why my allergies are out of control. The treasures I found prompted me to contact some people and take an opportunity to sit and talk. Some of these folks I’ve known all my life, some all of theirs, and others for at least a couple of decades. A constant theme in these conversations has been what was going on beyond the photo, beyond the eye of the camera.

It was in those memories that we learned things about each other that were hidden in plain sight. For example – who knew that you sang and played guitar on stage at a coffee house in New York City when you were in college? Or that you had looked up who Ty Cobb was and were proud to be part of the team, wear your uniform and play at those little league games that your Dad dragged you to each weekend. Who knew you didn’t really get lost on the subway that day when everyone was so worried – instead, you had a crazy adventure with friends. Who knew you stepped up to take care of the family dog and neighborhood strays when your older sister went off to college? Who knew that at age ten you already knew how to make something beautiful out of repurposed materials? Who knew that you always wanted to play the clarinet but when it was your turn to chose, the trumpet was the only instrument left, and yet you thoroughly enjoyed jammin’ with the band? Who knew all these things, these little sparks, you would carry in your heart alone until the time was right to shine?

I want my reader to feel a smile creep across the face as he or she joins me in the memory. Do you remember walking out of the comfort zone and then feeling ecstatic and relieved all at once. What a feeling to know you survived – you did it, and you enjoyed it! What if you haven’t yet? Well, why not. Tomorrow is another opportunity. What if you don’t have an experience readily available in your toolbox? I’m hoping you can borrow the energy from one of the stories I share.

I worked in a state-run system of human services for many years where I provided rehabilitative and supportive counseling for countless clients. Some didn’t have much of an opportunity to make happy memories, but somehow they knew there was something better, and that’s what kept them going. Some folks, knowing that they had nothing more to lose, took more chances. The strength and resilience I saw in these people were a blessing to my own life.

Those are the kind of stories I want to share – true stories of simple everyday people, putting one foot in front of the other walking the path before us. Few of us can skate through life on Easy Street. Most of us will follow the scenic route with all its twists and turns. Let’s take plenty “snapshots”.

Give to Caesar…

The other day, in answer to a recent assignment, I wrote a quick knee-jerk response to a blog post that piqued my interest. I found the post on a blog I follow that recommended another site. https://promptlings.wordpress.com/2018/03/27/we-have-met-the-enemy-redux/ Today, I am trying to respond in a more thoughtful way, and hopefully, it makes sense.

A couple of years ago, when I first started this blog, I thought I would use it as a place to respond in an unfiltered or uncensored way, to the political news of the day. In the same way that J.Dennison describes in her Filosofa’s Word, I am often annoyed by the response of extreme, right-wing, conservative political groups in regards to social issues in our country. I had planned to use this forum to voice that sentiment, but as time and the election passed, I became more infuriated with frustration and decided that type of blog would not work for me. I feel that people are so entrenched in their point of view that there is no longer room for dialogue. However, when confronted by the blatant abuse of power, I feel compelled to comment. J. Dennison’s article was written last year, but as she explains the problem continues and appears to be a norm more than an isolated incident.

A couple of days ago I received CBS News article about former President Jimmy Carter titled, Jimmy Carter on his journey of “Faith”. It was an interview with Jane Pauley about his impressions on life, religion, politics and the current state of affairs in this country. It also served to promote for his new book, “Faith: A Journey for All” (published by Simon & Schuster, a CBS company) https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jimmy-carter-on-his-journey-of-faith/

Jimmy Carter has been a favorite of mine for a long time. Even though he was a one-term president, his life out of office has been remarkable in terms of his work with human trafficking, civil rights, world peace etc. What I like the most about Jimmy Carter is that although his faith is part of who he is, he has always been very clear about the importance of maintaining the separation of church and state. President Carter has used the Biblical passage in Matthew 22: 20-22 to support his stance with religious leaders in this country. In this passage, Jesus of Nazareth is asked by a prominent religious group of the time if they should give “the tribute to Caesar”. Jesus asked them to show him a coin and poses the question, “Whose image is this?” When they respond, “It’s Caesar”. He gives them back the coin and simply tells them “then give to Caesar what is Caesar’s”

I believe that many of the religious leaders of today are very much like the High Priests in Jesus time. In a simple comparison, both groups are driven by special interests that benefit them over the common good. They get caught up trying to maintain the status quo by clinging to archaic traditions and forgetting basic spiritual teachings. Christian religious leaders in this country have overstepped the boundaries and not for the good of the faithful. I can also easily compare their increasing influence over our government policies to Ayatollah Khomeini’s surge to power in Iran in 1979.

The meshing of fundamentalist and conservative “values” in current political trends is part of what is causing such divisiveness in our country. On the surface, it appears that it is merely tension among racial or ethnic groups. Unfortunately, we often see that the churches can turn believers against each other for the “sake of the Gospel”. We can look back to see that Christians were OK with slavery because the Bible talks about Christian slaves. Now we see that many prominent Christian groups are hateful toward the LGBT groups. They are Ok with domestic violence and rape of a wife because of a verse in the Bible written to address a particular faith community. These groups advocate for employers to provide medical care s they see fit – Cialis for men but not birth control for women and I can go on.

I was raised in a fundamentalist, Christian environment. I even attended a Christian Bible College my first year right after high school. It was there when I first began to really question what I had been taught. I would often be sitting in a class and think to myself “Wait- what?? Come again? Can you repeat that? I don’t think I heard you right? Didn’t Jesus pray for us to be as one so that the world would know that this is from God? Why are you throwing the brother under the bus?” Bottom-line, although my faith remains intact, I have moved away from the basic premise that the only way to God is by way of the Fundamentalist Evangelical teachings.

Twelve years ago I converted to Catholicism with all its scandals and turbulent history. It was at a time in my life when I craved spirituality but did not want to go back to my previous involvement in” holiness churches”. I was fortunate to find a Catholic Community that met my needs. I had friends, members of the local parish who were good, sincere, caring souls. I decided to take a closer look. The Pastor was an Augustinian Friar who demonstrated a great love for the people in the immigrant city where he served. I was taught the importance and the difference between traditions, rituals and a personal spiritual relationship with God. Contrary to what I had been taught, this was not mindless idol worship, but rather these traditions are tools to help enhance our spiritual practice and connection with God. This community participated in different yet fulfilling types of worship; all within the Christian teachings of the Catholic Church.

Since this is Holy Week for Roman Catholics and other Christian faiths, I wanted to share a “verbal snapshot” of how I experienced my first Lenten season and Holy Week in that Catholic community. The first thing I noticed was on Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent was that Church was dressed as the desert, devoid of all splendor to reflect a spiritual pilgrimage of sacrifice that would end with Easter Sunday celebrations. As Lent progresses into the final days of Holy Week, the dressing of sanctuary continues to change to reflect the spiritual journey of Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, Easter Vigil, and Easter Sunday.

One of the biggest traditions of Lent around the world is the Via Crucis or the Way of the Cross. It refers to a series of images and Bible readings depicting the life Jesus Christ culminating on the day of his crucifixion. In my parish, these images were placed around the Sanctuary and during the weeks of Lent, each day prayer groups would stop at each image to reflect on Bible passages and pray. This particular community in an old mill city in Massachusetts had a predominantly Latino population. Culturally it was a big deal that on Good Friday the Via Crucis was taken to the streets. The Stations of the Cross were now at a homeless shelter, food pantry, soup kitchen, school, nursing home, hospital, rehab facility etc – wherever there was a need. The crowd that gathered behind the priest, the simple wooden Cross and Bible characters, numbered several hundred. As we walked, we sang solemn songs of repentance and sorrow and yet there was an uplifting spirit of hope.

At each station we stopped, the Priest read a passage from scripture, shared a reflection about the need of the particular station and most of us joined in prayer. I imagined that the group gathered here had similar characteristics to that crowd outside of Jerusalem on the way Golgotha. There was the faithful who came to worship and relive those moments spiritually with the Lord. There were those who came out because that’s what you do on Good Friday if you are Catholic Latino and live in this city. There were kids that had obviously come out to check out the cute girls and vice versa. There were moms with little ones and old ladies in wheelchairs. There were those hanging out the windows and front steps watching the “procession” go by – some probably silently praying for the souls of idol worshippers – not really understanding what was going on but what they were taught. No judgment- I was there once.

The crowd, in response to the scriptures that the Priest read, were yelling “Crucify him, crucify him” or a little further responded by mocking “Jesus” as he carried the cross. It was around this time that I got lost in my thoughts and transcended to that place so long ago. I asked myself a simple question… if I had lived then, which side would I be on? I had been raised a good, church girl. I had respected the church leaders and more than once followed their advice – sometimes even when things didn’t feel quite right. I probably would have listened to him for a while as he taught on the mountainside. I would have heard of his miracles. Perhaps he would have healed my mother. According to what is written, for their own special interest and personal gain, the high priests and religious leaders enticed the crowd to request that the Roman government crucify the Nazarene. Would I have turned my back on him now because the High Priest told me he was evil, blasphemes? Hindsight is 20/20 they say. Sound familiar?

We don’t have a physical Christ to crucify today, but His teachings are being attacked or shredded bit by bit each day. In John 18:36 Jesus said “my kingdom is not of this world… It is in another place.” So why are church leaders today forcing their beliefs upon our nation, hating strangers like the Good Samaritan of the Bible, making judgments by their own standards and blaming Jesus? They use verses out of context to convince their followers. Even Trump has been heard quoting the Bible.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have friends who I care about, and I believe they are truly faithful to the spirit. They are filled with all the love and compassion that one would expect of a follower of Christ. There are many good people in these fundamentalist evangelical churches looking for peace, looking for love and have found it for the Spirit is more powerful than man. There are plenty of good pastors that truly have a vocation to serve. We must not let those power hungry people turn us against each other and take over all that is good in our country. Church and state must coexist. I believe people need spirituality but the government should not dictate how we address our personal spiritual needs.

The lovers, the dreamers and me

For this assignment, I try to conjure up a visual of who will read my blog- my audience. I’ve spent the past couple of days visiting other writers, looking at style and content while trying to imagine their respective audience. I find that there are some fabulous sites out there and I try not to be intimidated by the talent or expertise that I see. I know that I tend to enjoy sites that have a personal component even though it may be a business page. I decided to focus on MY passion – why am I writing? I’m writing to tell a story – simple as that.

Someday I may publish these writings for my granddaughters. However, I am envisioning my reader today, and that person looks something like me – in my soul. Regardless of gender, it will be someone who understands that there are great treasures in our simple moments. It’s not an original idea I understand. I’ve seen memes that say “we do not remember days, we remember moments.” or “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” I’m sure you have too. I picture my reader as someone who just needs an interruption, a break from this crazy, fast and furious train ride that we call life. That someone is looking for a pause button– a quick light, read to go with a cup of coffee, hot tea or a glass of wine at the end of the day.

When I was a young adult, every weekend my siblings and I would take turns visiting our grandparents. During a difficult work week, I started to look forward to the day when I would drive my mother to her parents’ house – especially when my grandmother’s younger sister was in town. She was sassy, and her green eyes sparkled. She knew how to bring a blush of color to my mild and meek grandmother’s cheeks.

It was that time when people still sat on the front porch to talk and greet the neighbors as they walked by. We had an unspoken appointment with my mother’s sisters and every now once in a while one of my uncles or another cousin would join us. We would sit for hours and have a beverage with a delicious treat from our favorite bakery. My grandparents took turns with weekly news updates about the extended family which included anecdotes of comparable events of long ago and almost always ended with the question “What is the world coming to?” This simple statement would lead us down a crooked path filled with the twists and turns of current events and politics.

I came to treasure those afternoons filled with stories. I felt connected to the generations before me who had overcome hardships that I couldn’t even imagine and yet, they sang and laughed and wrote poems.

As I was thinking about the mood and the spirit of my blog, the melody of the “Rainbow Connection” kept playing in the background of my mind and I hummed along as I wrote.

…Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
And someone believed it
And look what it’s done so far
What’s so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
What so we think we might see

Someday we’ll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me…

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/S2DTLbTQj0I

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